Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Fakin' It........

It has been a LONG time since my last blog post. I am going to try to do a much better job with updates as we head into our next adventure.

So it's PCS time, and right about now is when I turn into an absolute crazy person. I stress out, get irrationally emotional, and become a raging lunatic, pretty much simultaneously. Sometimes I feel like I cannot think straight, and will never do so again. While other times I feel like I have awesome moments of clarity. In the past when I have experienced my "aha, that's it!!" moments, I regret not writing them down. And when I don't record these self-proclaimed moments of brilliance, I end up feeling like I have nothing to say.

Not today, my friends. Today as I put on a smile and said "great" when the barista inquired how I was doing, I thought, “Wow you just totally faked that". And boom, the light bulb moment happens. "Man if only I had a penny for every time I "faked” it..... There's totally a blog in that one, Marci." So here you go.

We've all faked it at least once. You know what I'm talking about. No, not THAT!! (I'm mean; I know we've all done that too). I'm talking about the big fat magic trick every Army (or Air Force/Marine Corps/Navy) wife has performed when she puts a smile on her face and waxes poetic about how great it is to be an Army wife.

The times she says, "oh I love it here!” when the thought of spending one more minute at a particular duty station fills her with an uncontrollable urge to ride out the remainder of her time hidden under the covers. Remember those days she said she liked the fact she moved around so much, while internal jealousy boiled at the sight of permanent wall hangings. Let's not forget when a non-military person sings her praises and says they have don't know how she does it, and she just smiles and thanks them because they have no idea last night she locked herself in the bathroom and cried for 30 minutes because the redeployment date got changed by a day (again!).  Oh, how about when she's asked to rank her top 45 choices for their next place to live from a list of 50, only to find out they are going somewhere that wasn't even on the list. She will probably smile and say she counts her blessings that they will be together while secretly trying to figure out how to make it to Kentucky to "thank" the branch manager in person without her husband finding out. And then there is the mother of all fakes. Those times when she says "it's a great life, the Army has been so good to us.", when the ONLY thing she feels like doing is running through the Pentagon, flipping everyone in sight "the bird".

Now please don't misunderstand me. There are days when an Army wife will mean every word behind those smiles. Because the fact is, she really does love it here. And moving around so much has allowed her some once in a lifetime experiences. Although she doesn't really know how she does it either, she wouldn't change a thing. And it isn't just a good life, but a great one. She is so proud of her Soldier and the work he does for our country, and is so thankful for their life in the Army.

There are days when an Army wife really does love being an Army wife. Today just might not be one of those days. But, rest assured, she will probably put on a smile and "fake it" until it is again. 


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